


All I Want for Christmas (Is Sasha The Tiger)

by halfsweet



Series: Parenthood AU [11]
Category: Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 05:48:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17177087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfsweet/pseuds/halfsweet
Summary: It started one night when Pete crashed their place, half-inebriated and half-wasted as he bumped into their furniture, waking David up from his slumber.





	All I Want for Christmas (Is Sasha The Tiger)

**Author's Note:**

> i think i started this early december but abandoned it until a couple of days ago. been hanging around the mcu tag lately oops. wrote the whole thing on my phone so hah sorry if there's any mistake! ALSO. this is inspired by Sasha the Tiger post on tumblr but for the love of god i cant find it anywhere so :(
> 
> anyway, here's a late christmas fic for you guys! thank you for supporting this series! especially you, buddy :) thanks for scarring me with your last fic :))

It started one night when Pete crashed their place, half-inebriated and half-wasted as he bumped into their furniture, waking David up from his slumber.

David, surprisingly, didn't cry or throw a tantrum about being woken up. Instead, he just walked into the living room and, upon seeing Pete, climbed up onto the couch to sit down beside him. 

And then  _ Pete _ started to tell David  _ stories _ about  _ Sasha the Tiger  _ that came to visit in place of Santa Claus when Santa Claus is sick.

And in the morning when David demands to meet  _ Sasha _ , they don't have the heart to tell him that  _ Sasha _ isn't real.

“I wanna meet Sasha!” David screams that morning, his temper tantrum showing up pretty early after Pete sneaks out the front door to avoid having to deal with David's tantrum.

Pete is definitely paying for what he did.

“David…” Patrick sighs as he pats David's back to calm him down.

“Mama Bear!” David continues to wail and sob on Patrick’s shoulder, “I wanna meet Sasha!”

“Dav—”

_ “Sasha!” _

Brendon covers his ears from David's scream. It's still too early to deal with this… this… what's another word for  _ shit _ ?

Patrick looks at him. “Can you make some milk for him?”

He gives Patrick a nod before heading to the kitchen, body moving automatically as he prepares David's warm milk that will, hopefully, make him sleepy enough to stop crying.

David's wail pierces through the walls and his eardrums, and he winces at the sharp ringing sound in his ears.

Oh, Pete is  _ definitely _ gonna pay for this.

-

“You sure you want to do this?” Brendon asks Patrick for the third time the next day. They've gone through Patrick's plan last night, but it still doesn't feel right. Because Patrick's a nice person, even if he's angry, the most he'd do is yell (just like David would), and Patrick doesn't come up with  _ plans _ to get back at someone. Not even Pete.

“Yes!” Patrick huffs, arms crossed tight against his chest as his eyes narrow in a heated glare. So adorable. “I don't care who he thinks he is, no one is getting away for making my baby cry like that.”

Technically, David's already over two years old now, so he's a toddler. Not a baby. But he keeps his mouth shut, not wanting to provoke Patrick's wrath any further.

Better to stay quiet when Patrick's  _ Mama Bear _ side starts to take over.

Brendon sits on a table, swinging his legs back and forth as they wait for Pete to arrive at the room in the back of the music store. They have Vicky to babysit David for a while since she's on her day off, and the original plan was for Patrick to meet Pete in the room all alone while he watched David.

But honestly? Between watching a toddler watching cartoon shows and watching Pete getting scolded, he'd much rather do the latter.

Patrick's already tapping his foot on the floor, impatience creeping up on him as the second ticks by. Thankfully, before he starts to suffocate with the sheer fury from Patrick, Pete bursts in with an alarmed look on his face.

“What's the emergency?!”

Patrick's lips are pressed into a thin line as he stops tapping his foot. “Sit down, Pete.”

Pete looks between them back and forth. “What?”

Watching Pete looking like he's about to pee himself, he tries to diffuse the situation by sliding the closest chair out from under the table with his foot, smiling. “Just sit down. Nothing's going to happen.”

Nothing's going to happen to  _ them _ , though. He can't say the same about Pete.

Pete takes a seat on the chair as he eyes both of them in suspicion. “What's going on?”

“See that costume right there?” Patrick points to a tiger costume—one that they had rented earlier in the morning—laying innocently on a table. 

Pete takes a look at it and scratches the back of his head. “Yeah…?”

Patrick walks over and unfolds the costume in front of Pete. “You're going to put it on.”

Pete scrambles up to his feet, putting a good distance between him and Patrick and the outfit. “No! Why would I?!”

“It’s  _ your _ fault David won't stop crying about Sasha the Tiger!” Patrick fumes, now shoving the costume in Pete's hands. “So  _ you're _ going to put on the costume and  _ be _ Sasha so he'd stop crying.”

“No!” Pete refuses and drops the costume on the floor as if it burned his hands. “I'm not wearing that hideous costume!”

“You are!” Patrick glares as he picks up the costume and shoves it, again, in Pete's direction. “You're the reason David wanted to meet Sasha, so you're going to fix it!”

“Do I look like a Sasha?!” Pete argues back, his glare as fierce as Patrick's. “I have a dick!”

“Pete,” Patrick growls, his voice low in his throat, “I swear to God if you don't put on this costume for the entire day, I will cut off your dick and feed it to the tigers.”

Brendon’s legs stop swinging and he clamps his legs together. Wow. He would  _ not _ want to be Pete right now. He ought to make a mental note:  _ never _ mess with one David Francis Urie, or suffer the wrath of his Mama Bear.

Pete's face falters as he swallows. “You- you wouldn't do that, right?”

“Wanna bet?”

Pete eyes the tiger costume again, hesitation flashing across his face. “Just  _ one _ day?”

Patrick rolls his eyes in exasperation and scoffs. “Not even a full 24 hours.”

“Fine.” Pete frowns and grabs the costume. “I'm only doing it because I'm a  _ good _ godfather. And I don't want any pictures taken.”

“Just put on the outfit.”

-

When they get back to the apartment that afternoon, they (Patrick, mostly) make Pete change into the costume right outside the door so they can surprise David. 

Once in costume, Patrick opens the door and steps inside, and David's footsteps can almost be heard a mile away.  _ “Mama Bear! You're back!” _

Patrick signals him to bring Pete inside, and when Vicky walks out, she bursts into little giggles. “Don't tell me it's Pete.”

Pete crosses his arms. “Ha. Ha. Funny. Now go away.”

Brendon gives Vicky an amused glance. “It's a long story, but we'd be glad to indulge you from the beginning if you come over with cookies.”

“Deal.” Vicky smirks, shaking his hand and patting Pete through the costume. “Have fun, Tiger.”

Pete groans from inside the costume he drags Pete inside the apartment and into the living room, where David is showing Patrick his latest Play-Doh creation, but he stops when he sees an unfamiliar figure standing in the living room with them.

“Look who it is, Little Bear.” Patrick coos to a confused David. “It's Sasha the Tiger!”

David gasps, his face brightening in excitement. “Sasha!”

“Sasha!” David squeals again as he runs towards Pete in the tiger costume, hugging his knees. “Sasha! You're here!”

He covers his mouth to stifle his laughter at the sight. There's no doubt Pete's glaring at them from inside the costume.

He deserves it.

David looks up at  _ Sasha _ with a wide grin. “What's Sasha doing here?”

“Well—” Pete begins, but he immediately stops himself and changes his tone into a high-pitched one when Patrick clears his throat. “Well, I'm visiting someone. Do you know who David Francis Urie is?”

David gasps and raises his hand. “Me! Me! It's me, Sasha! I'm David!”

“You are!” Pete feigns surprise before kneeling to reach David's height. “Have you been nice or naughty this year?”

“Nice! I'm a nice boy!” David bounces on his feet, his smile never leaving his face. “Ask Mama Bear! Ask Daddy! I'm nice!”

“Really?” Pete asks. “Is your uncle Pete nice?”

David's face drops into a pout that he and Patrick both struggle to contain their laughter. “Nooo. Uncle Pete is a meanie. Uncle Pete always steal my Mama Bear.”

Pete huffs and stands up, hands on his hips. “I guess you're naughty then.”

“But Sasha!” David whines, tugging at the leg of the costume. “I'm nice! I'm nice Little Bear!”

“Nice little bears would say uncle Pete is nice.” Pete waves his paw in the air. “If you say uncle Pete is a meanie, then you're not nice. You're a meanie Little Bear.” 

David makes a low sound as he hangs his head down, his eyes glistening. “But Sasha… I'm nice Little Bear…”

Pete crosses his arms. “Is Uncle Pete nice?”

David looks up at him and nods fast. “Uncle Pete's nice! Uncle Pete always play with me!”

Even without looking at Patrick, he can tell Patrick's rolling his eyes at what Pete's doing, but they stay quiet in the background anyway.

Pete bends down and pats David's head. “You  _ are _ a nice Little Bear! You know what nice little bears get?”

David cocks his head. “Cookies?”

“Nice little bears get,” Pete pauses for a dramatic effect as he lifts David up in his arm, “free hugs and kisses!”

David's previously excited face falls to a dull frown. “Oh.”

“And toys and cookies!”

David perks up again, bouncing in Pete's arm and squealing. 

He swears David is a human version of a puppy.

“Cookies! I get cookies!”

He shares another look with Patrick when David’s attention is completely occupied by Pete. “Wanna go out? I'm pretty sure if we leave now, David wouldn't notice a thing. We can go on a date.”

Patrick turns to him, lips stretched into a grin and eyes sparkled. “Come to think of it, we haven't been on a date in a while.”

Mirroring Patrick's grin, he gently nudges Patrick to the front door. “What are we waiting for? Let's go then.”

And if  _ Sasha _ is looking at them straight in the eye as they're sneaking out, then they're just gonna wave and smile.

_ Sasha _ deserves to spend a day with David for what Pete did.

-

When they get back, admittedly later that night, both David and Pete are passed out from exhaustion on the couch. He walks over to the couch with Patrick, cooing softly at the sight.

“My baby…” Patrick smiles as he whips his phone out to take a picture of them sleeping. “This would make a cute Christmas card next year. Or birthday invitations.”

He nods in agreement. It would make a cute birthday invitation. “Why don't you wake Pete up and I'll put David to bed?”

He carefully, gently, pulls David up into his arms at the same time Patrick is waking Pete up with a slight shake and a soft call of his name. He carries David back into his room and caresses his back. His movement stops when David stirs awake, his small hand flying up to rub his eyes.

Smiling, he continues his way to David's room. “Did you have fun with Sasha today?”

David nods against his shoulder, his voice heavy with sleep when he replies him. “Wanna… wanna play with Sasha again.”

Chuckling, he places a gentle kiss on the side of David's head. “Let's see if she'll come here again next year.”

“Sasha…”

He lets out an amused huff at David's sleepy mumble. David must be tired out from playing with Pete earlier. 

Once he reaches David's room, he changes David into a new diaper and a pair of pajamas, all while David is drifting between dream and reality. He then lays David inside his crib and tucks the blanket around him.

“Sleep, Little Bear. Santa's coming tonight, but only if you're asleep.”

David's eyes are already slipping shut before he gets to finish his sentence, and he leans over the crib and kisses his forehead. 

“Merry Christmas, Little Bear.”

-

Late last night after they had put David to bed, they brought out all the presents from under their bed and placed them under the Christmas tree, alongside  _ Sasha's _ presents. 

He has to admit, he's just as surprised as Patrick is when Pete came back up again with a sack full of presents.

_ “I  _ told _ you I'm a good godfather. The  _ best _.” _

Oh, how he wishes he were David if he can get all the awesome presents.

They only got a few hours of sleep that night, though, because early in the morning, David's already knocking on their door like a woodpecker with a loud and energetic  _ “Mama Bear! Daddy! It's Christmas!” _

After washing their face and brushing their teeth, they walk into the living room, seeing David crawling around under the Christmas tree, beaming at all the presents.

“Mama Bear! Daddy!” David beams as he sits down on the floor. “Santa bring presents!”

“Santa sure did.” Patrick smiles as he kneels on the floor next to David, who is marvelling at a particular green box wrapped with reindeer wallpaper. “What did you get?”

David wastes no time ripping the wrapping paper off until it reveals a white box. He opens the lid of the box and peeks in, letting out a gasp when he sees what's inside. “Mama Bear!”

David digs out the present inside and shows them with a flourish and a huge grin. “I got a giant cookie from Santa!”

Opening his mouth wide, David chomps down on the 'cookie’, and he pulls back with a confused whine and furrowed brows. “Not cookie…”

Brendon laughs and ruffles David's hair. “That's a pillow, silly. Not a real cookie.”

“Oh. Smells like cookie!” David hugs the pillow to his chest and sniffs at it, then letting out a sigh. Almost a purr. “I love you, big not-cookie.”

Brendon shares a smile with Patrick. Can their son stay a two year old forever? 

“What did Sasha get you?”

“Toys!” He squeals in happiness as he rummages through the abundance of plush animals, Legos, and even a small basketball goal and an equally small trampoline.  “Mama Bear, Sasha got me toys! Lots of toys!”

As David continues to unwrap his presents, Brendon glances at the tree, noticing a small note clipped on it that wasn’t there before. He takes it in his fingers and unfolds it, feeling Patrick’s chin on his shoulder.

_ Sorry for the other day. Here's a weekend free coupon that you can redeem anytime. Go on a weekend getaway—all expenses paid for by yours truly—and I'll babysit David the entire weekend.  _

_ Merry Christmas, from Pete  _

“Isn't that sweet?” Patrick smiles. “I hear Hawaii is nice. What do you say?”

“We're going to milk Pete until the very last penny, aren't we?”

“You bet.”

He chuckles at Patrick's answer and leans in, pecking a kiss to the corner of Patrick's mouth. “I love you. I can't wait to spend more Christmas with you and David.”

The tips of Patrick's ears turn pink, but his smile is blinding. “Love you too. Here's to many more Christmas.”

Pete  _ is _ a good uncle—and a better godfather—to David. And truly their best friend. He almost hopes that Pete would screw up again next year so he'd get all the cool stuff in apology.

And watching Pete's head getting chewed off by Patrick is just an added bonus.


End file.
